· Trees do not walk. They lumber. (Sign in Port Angeles, WA)
· Mistakes are good because we can learn from them; I must be a slow learner because I repeat most of mine.
· I’m wrecked on the lee shore of age.
· Definition of a volunteer: Someone who didn’t understand the question.
· The grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the fence; it’s greener where you water it.
* What has more letters than the alphabet? The Post Office.
* You can lead a horse to water but a pencil must be lead.
* Definition of a lobster: An ugly, overgrown, insect-like-puny-brained crustaceon for which we pay $25 to eat.
* Junk is the stuff we throw away; stuff is the junk we save.
* Sign for a bra store: “Where no cup runneth over.”
* When life gives you LIMES, change them to a SMILE.
* News flash! Did you know that chocolate makes our clothes shrink??
* Maybe that’s why our ancestors aren’t smiling in those old photos….. they had no chocolate in their lives.