·        Trees do not walk. They lumber. (Sign in Port Angeles, WA)

·        Mistakes are good because we can learn from them; I must be a slow learner because I repeat most of mine.

·        I’m wrecked on the lee shore of age.

·        Definition of a volunteer: Someone who didn’t understand the question.

·        The grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the fence; it’s greener where you water it.

 * What has more letters than the alphabet? The Post Office.

* You can lead a horse to water but a pencil must be lead.

* Definition of a lobster:  An ugly, overgrown, insect-like-puny-brained crustaceon for which we pay $25 to eat.

* Junk is the stuff we throw away; stuff is the junk we save.

* Sign for a bra store: “Where no cup runneth over.” 

* When life gives you LIMES, change them to a SMILE.

* News flash! Did you know that chocolate makes our clothes shrink??

* Maybe that’s why our ancestors aren’t smiling in those old photos….. they had no chocolate in their lives.